What happens at work when something goes wrong? In most workplaces, one of three things. It gets ignored, and quietly festers. Or it gets dealt with to people: a warning, a procedure, a quiet word that leaves someone feeling judged. Or someone smooths it over for them, usually the leader, so nobody has to feel uncomfortable.

Restorative practice starts with a simple idea, mapped by Ted Wachtel and Paul McCold. When leaders hold high expectations and offer high support, they work with people. High expectations with low support becomes punitive, done to people. High support with low expectations becomes rescuing, done for them. Neither leaves people on their own.

Working with people has a rhythm to it. I teach it as a cycle with four stages.

You can handle things other people can’t. Slowly, the weight builds and you’re carrying everyone else on your shoulders, like Atlas holding up the sky. You know you “should” look after yourself better. But there’s nothing left in the tank.